A medical prescription

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Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… Don’t waste time on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up the heart does not make you live longer; it is like saying you extend life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. 
 
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? 
A: Oh no. Wine is made from fruit, Brandy from distilled wine.That means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottoms up! 

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one. 
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: no pain…good!  

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?  
A: YOU ARE NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil? How is getting more vegetables bad for you? 

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: No! When you exercise muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want bigger stomach. 

Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around! 

Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for the figure, explain the whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape! 
 
Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.  And remember: life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”  

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 
 
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 
 
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 
 
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 
 
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans… 
 
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

The decline in the American birthrate, no. 2.

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The pandemic may result in 300,000 to 500,000 fewer babies born in the U.S. Lockdowns and fear kept young people from meeting and marrying, and the economic hardship discouraged many young couples from having kids.

Among the 32 states that had annual data available, there were about 95,000 fewer births in 2020 compared with the year prior, a decline of roughly 4.4 percent. Meanwhile, a Guttmacher Institute survey showed that as a result of the pandemic, 34 percent of American women have either put off plans to have children or reduced the number they expect to have. There may be a rebound when the pandemic ends, but research scientist Laura Lindberg said the shock and chronic uncertainty of the last year will linger. “Until people feel more confident about the economy and the state of the world,” she said, “concerns about having children are going to continue.”

Nearly 30 percent of the world’s countries have officially adopted pro-natalist policies to encourage their citizens to have kids. Hungary, which saw its fertility rate reach an all-time low of 1.23 in 2011, is spending 5 percent of GDP on policies such as free treatment at nationalized IVF clinics for women under 40, upfront loans to newlyweds that can be written off with each birth, and even a lifetime exclusion from income tax for moms with three or more kids.

Poland is giving moms about $140 per child per month; Russia is giving parents with two or more children one-off payments of about $8,100; and South Korea has spent $130 billion on a similar program since 2006. Evidence suggests, however, that these payments produce mostly short-term gains in fertility: Women have children earlier, but not more of them. In Alaska, where residents’ share of oil revenues is based on the number of kids they have, the long-term gains in fertility were negligible. “Single policy measures are unlikely to increase fertility,” said researchers from the Wittgenstein Centre, a Vienna-based group that studies population dynamics. High-quality public day care, research shows, is the only policy that leads to significant increases in the number of babies women choose to have.
(First published in The Week magazine).

My comment: We need enough up and coming younger people to help pay for the oldies, like myself. Otherwise I can only think that, faced with catastrophic climate change, a drop in population is a benefit to the planet.

The decline in the US birthrate, no. 1

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Women are having fewer children than at any time on record. What are the implications?

The U.S.’s total fertility rate, or the number of babies each woman is expected to have during her lifetime, reached a record low of 1.705 births per woman (that’s 1 point 705!)in 2019, the latest year for which data is available. That year the number of babies born in the U.S. was 3.74 million — a 35-year low. The dramatic drop in births mirrors a worldwide trend. Britain, Canada, France, and Australia all had fertility rates below 1.9 in 2018 — below the “replacement rate” of 2.1 needed to sustain their populations. Some experts are calling this phenomenon “a demographic time bomb.”

In coming years, lower fertility rates could have profound economic consequences, with employers lacking sufficient workers to grow the economy. And with fewer young workers paying into Social Security and Medicare, these safety-net programs will be in trouble. In the early 1980s, the U.S. had about five workers providing the taxes to support each retired beneficiary. By 2019, the Social Security Administration says, that ratio had declined to 2.8 workers per retiree, and by 2035, it may drop to 2.2 workers per beneficiary.
Tomorrow: What is being done about the trend

Universities won’t grade spelling

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University tutors are being told not to mark down work for spelling mistakes because insisting on correct English could be seen as “homogenous north European, white, male, elite”. The Times says several institutions are adopting “inclusive assessments” and Hull University says it will “challenge the status quo” by dropping the requirement for a high level of written and spoken English.

My comment: If you are ignorant of your own language then you are just plain ignorant. I have never heard of such a stupid, if not actually harmful, idea.
What are they thinking? And why are they picking on men, or being white? Are young women still being asked to spell correctly and conjugate properly?

Coming to live in America I had to adjust my spelling and vocabulary to the the American way. Why shouldn’t immigrants to Britain not learn English English, spelling and grammar. For one thing, it avoids misunderstandings. (Is it helpful to converse incomprehensibly?) Is this not potentially classist and racist? It certainly is a new shot fired the so-called “woke” ears.

Suggestion: grow up!

Boss pays ex-worker in pennies

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A man has accused his former employer of being “childish” after he received his final payment of $915 in pennies. Andreas Flaten discovered the 90,000 coins at the bottom of his driveway, along with a final payslip and a parting message from the car workshop where he worked. The coins were covered in a greasy substance and Flaten is gradually cleaning them so he can bank them.  (The Week 26/3/21)

My comment: For pathetic pettiness this takes some beating. How would you react? Relief to have left the company? Well, yes, but the fact that this childish act has reached down to this obscure blog (and is probably all over Facebook et al) these are payback enough. Mr Flaten is too much of a gentleman to quote name of the company and its boss. I personally might be tempted.