Posted by rhanrott on 10 January 2018,

The following is an email sent me years ago from Australia when this blog was first launched. It is very touching:

From. joan.garvan@anu.edu.au

I am writing today because I was an unwanted child. I am now 55 years old and my mum just passed away a week or so ago. Because my mum became pregnant with me in the 1950s she was shamed into marrying my dad and from there had a further 5 births (with two prior births to a first husband after the 2 world war ss well), and one abortion paid for by the doctor. Until my mum’s death she was haunted by the fact that she was shamed into marrying my dad. He is a loving man and was very good to mum in later life, but for many years (while the couple had children) my dad was both a drinker and a gambler. Until my mums death she was never able to overcome the grief and hurt of those early years (she called the 1950s and the 1960s and possibly much of the 1970s the black years).

I say, thank heavens, women can access abortion, so that they are not forced into having unwanted children. Even though our family managed to overcome much of the hurt and trauma that accompanies these events, my mum was never able to fully forgive my dad (who she blamed) and to an extent me. I believe I have resolved many of the issues but am still carrying scars that I hope will heal in time. It is still not possible for many women (from that generation) to leave their husbands for emotional, financial and health reasons. I think mum believed that in time the scars would heal for her and that she would learn to love my dad but this just didn’t happen and as she grew older she resented him more. Only in the last week or so before she died did the couple share sweet words and exchange their love. I think my dad may have felt so guilty – we human are so complicated.
thanking you and best,

Joannie

I find it morally repugnant to bring into this world children who are unwanted and unloved. If the principal objectives of Epicureanism are happiness and contentment, then it follows that children should be conceived, born and reared in warmth, love and friendship. Force majeure employed by religious groups claiming to know the mind of God, seek to force women to forego family planning and bear children, often conceived in violence or indifference. This is wicked and inhuman and is the cause of lifelong misery and unhappiness for many millions and untold social problems, mostly among the poor and socially deprived.

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