The Supreme Court nominee

Here is a problem no one has thought about (you read it first on Epicurus Today):

We will soon see Amy Coney Barratt on the Supreme Court. Ms. Barrett is a member of extreme and exotic christian group who “speak in tongues”.

In the last 80 years I have failed to discover in which “tongues” these people actually speak: Babylonian? Assyrian? This puzzlement must be true of most Americans. Thus, when she pontificates upon some issue or other, who, aside from her fellow charismatics, will understand a word she says. She will certainly need an interpreter – but from where?

As it happens, in a former life i was High Priest in a Temple dedicated to the God, Sham. Our tongue was Ancient Babylonian. Although my Babylonian is now a bit rusty, I may be the only person able to translate it with ease. For instance, Ms.Barratt, interpreted by me, will advocate for women’s rights, birth control, a woman’s right to choose, separation of church and state, abolition of church schools, fair elections, higher taxes for the super-rich and counting all mail-in ballots.

Problem: keeping her in a trance.

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