Were Odysseus to land in modern-day Washington D.C he would be viewed with the darkest suspicion, photographed and finger-printed, his iris-print recorded. He would be handcuffed and interviewed by the Department of Homeland Security. He would be lucky to escape electrocution as a common pirate, a fate he probably richly deserved, and would very likely be accused of money laundering and terrorism, especially if he had his traditional beard and ancient Greek dress, and lodged sine die in Guantanamo Bay.

There is no room for the swashbuckler, adventurer or eccentric in these grim days of scaring the public to death. Nor is it wise to wisecrack or joke to a security official, be he ever so humble (actually, the humbler the less cheerful and normal they are). Thus have we passed the stage when you could call the system bourgeois and we have entered the era of the disagreeable, unimaginative and preposterous.   Far from being macho these employees display a little-girlie paranoia, and a humourless one at that.