Men and friendship

Many men rely on their womenfolk to make and retain friends for them.  How many women do you know who complain that they have to make all the social arrangements?  In the event that they are divorced or separated for whatever reason, men can be lonely indeed.   

When I was young I yearned to have a girlfriend. Almost anyone who was lively and fun would have been a thrill. Instead I struggled, and watched the cool guys who didn’t appear to care less, the men with the straggly beards and the unkempt hair, the guys who never turned up on time, getting all the girls.

And then one day someone said to me, You try too hard. And maybe you’re trying with the wrong people, too. I thought about this, and adopted a more casual, take-it-or-leave it attitude. I abandoned the obvious targets (blondes, mostly) and concentrated getting to know fun people who had similar interests to mine, who had a sense of humor and occasionally even laughed at my stories. Suddenly, I had more people complaining about my jokes, but willing to date me (as long as I shut up occasionally).

My advice: Relax. Step back. At least pretend not to care. Give people space; if you don’t, they will retreat as you advance. And what can be most difficult for many people – lighten up and don’t be intense (I have no reason to think you are, but just in case the cap fits).

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