The decline in couples getting married means that the number of children born out of wedlock hit a record 47.5% last year. If the trend continues, the figure will pass 50% by 2016. Data from the Office for National Statistics also shows a record number of women having children over the age of 40 – up to 29,994 last year from 6,519 in 2002. (The Week)
I can well understand that the high divorce rate during the last fifty years has caused disillusionment among young people facing life together. But having been through divorce myself, I nevertheless believe that the commitment involved in marriage is important to children and to a happy life together. It doesn’t prevent rows, slamming doors or affairs, but it does make you think twice before you break the bonds; it encourages you to make more of an effort. If you are not married it must be easy to walk out if you don’t get your way twice in a weekend. The fact that their parents are legally married sends a message to children about commitment, love and stability.
I don’t even know if Epicurus was married. He might well have been a typical ancient Greek male, if you get my meaning. But I am certain that he would have wanted happiness and security for all children, and this is stiil to be had in a legal and committed environment.
After surveying the large continuum of family, friends, and the rest of the social world swirling around me, I’ve landed on what I think is the first and most important question. The answer to it ought to inform judgments about the efficacy of marriage, un-marriage, pre-marriage or no marriage–any arrangements people work out to get through life. To whit:
“Who socializes the children and how?’
I’ve always assumed that parents have about 12 years to lay the groundwork.