“I took my mum out to lunch recently. The youth behind the bar greeted us with the words: ‘Hi guys.’

I’m 51. My mum is 79. You could see what the pub was trying to do. Some manager had told the staff: ‘Listen, guys, we want to create a kind of informal vibe. So no “sir”, or “madam”. It’s “guys”. OK guys?’ There is no word that grates quite like guys. It reeks of cheesy musicals, of Cliff Richard trying to sound with-it (if with-it is still in fashion). And it is the last word I’d associate with my mum, a Lancashire woman about to celebrate her 80th birthday – and it is the last word I’d associate with me, a morose, middle-aged man in a stained cardigan.”   (David Griffiths, The Oldie)

It’s a joke, but it resonates.  Many older people feel highly invisible, if not disrespected.  The effort to be chummy is grating. One sometimes has the impression that you are regarded as having “had it” if you are over 50, as opposed to possibly having acquired a bit of wisdom and a successful career.   I think everyone should be treated pleasantly and respectfully, whatever their age.  Barmen should say “Sir” or “Madam”.  It puts just a tad of distance between customer and server.