Staff at upmarket restaurants in the US are now googling diners before they arrive, so that they can “personalise” their experience – by, say, wishing them a happy birthday, congratulating them on their new job, or pointing them to a wine from their favourite appellation. (The Week)
“Hello, I’m Tony. I’ll be your server tonight”. That’s bad enough. I want to be civil to “Tony”, but am only interested in the service he is about to give me. But my birthday! My new job!
Epicurus speaking: “Sirs, I have come to your restaurant because I hear the food is good. I am with my friends and want to have a conversation in the old fashioned way, that is, actually being able to hear above the din. I don’t want you to remind me of my age, nor is my job or marital status any of your darned business”.
A good server waits a few moments before announcing his presence so as not to interrupt a customer’s sentence. Unfortunately, this is not a principle generally observed by servers where I live. They universally barge into a conversation, often at a crucial, or at least an important, point. Yes, they have to get on with their jobs and may be very busy. But part of the art of good service is to offer it so that the customers have a good experience without obvious and unnecessary intrusion. Message to restaurant owners: we do not patronize your restaurant for the waiters!
Like children in Victorian times, they should be seen and not heard. To say that this is an Epicurean principle might be a slight stretch, but nonetheless enhances pleasure.
Your comment to the waiter is restrained, civilized, and true. As you note, it’s the restaurant owner-manager who needs to get an earful. Managers must instruct their staff on the First Rule: DO NOT INTERRUPT. Ever! Epicurus respected his guests, a hallmark of Epicurean behavior.
What really annoys me about restaurants is the way the plates are removed the instant you clear your plate and before you have finished eating. If your companion is a slow eater it pressurizes him or her and makes the meal unpleasant and sends a message ” hurry up, we have other people waiting”. Where this disagreeable habit came from I have no idea. Suffice to say that in Europe any waiter who is seen to be hurrying the clients in this way would be fired. Rightly! a meal should be enjoyed in a slow, leisurely way.