This  is apparently the actual dialogue, from the WordPerfect customer support Helpline,  transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for ‘Termination without Cause’.

Operator:         ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’
Caller:              ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect ‘
Operator:         ‘What sort of trouble?’
Caller:              ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’
Operator:         ‘Went away?’
Caller:              ‘They disappeared’
Operator:         ‘Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?’
Caller:              ‘Nothing.’
Operator:         ‘Nothing??’
Caller:              ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’
Operator:         ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?’
Caller:              ‘How do I tell?’
Operator:        ‘Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen?’
Caller:              ‘What’s a sea-prompt?’
Operator:         ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’
Caller:              ‘There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.’
Operator:         ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator?’
Caller:              ‘What’s a monitor?’
Operator:         ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. 
                          Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?’
Caller:              ‘I don’t know.’
Operator:        ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where 
                         the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??’
Caller:             ‘Yes, I think so.’
Operator:       ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s 
                         plugged into the wall..
Caller:             ‘Yes, it is.’
Operator:        ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that 
                         there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? ‘
Caller:              ‘No.’
Operator:         ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and 
                         find the other cable.’
Caller:              ‘Okay, here it is.’
Operator:          ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into 
                          the back of your computer..’
Caller:               ‘I can’t reach.’
Operator:          ‘OK. Well, can you see if it is?’
Caller:               ‘No…’
Operator:          ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?’
Caller:               ‘Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle — it’s because it’s dark.’
Operator:          ‘Dark?’
Caller:               ‘Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is 
                          coming in from the window.’
Operator:          ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’
Caller:               ‘I can’t..’
Operator:          ‘No? Why not?’
Caller:              ‘Because there’s a power failure.’
Operator:         ‘A power …. A power failure? Aha. Okay, we’ve got it   
                         licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and   
                         packing stuff that your computer came in?’
Caller:              ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..’
Operator:         ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you            

                          got it.  Then take it back to the store you bought it from.’
Caller:              ‘Really? Is it that bad?’
Operator:        ‘Yes, I’m afraid it is.’
Caller:              ‘Well, all right then, I suppose.  What do I tell them?’
Operator:         ‘Tell them you’re too damned stupid to own a computer!’