Almost three quarters of women with dependent children in England are in full or part-time employment. The number of working mothers has risen from 3.7 million in 1996 to 4.9 million. (Office for National Statistics/The Guardian.)
May I, liberal in tooth and claw, a closet “feminist” in many ways, be allowed to ask a question that I know will cause an uproar, but needs to be asked? After two generations of mothers having full time jobs (I don’t count part-time) is there any consensus about the effect on children, in terms of discipline, manners and behaviour, in having mothers working full time, probably doing the shopping, cooking and housework, and still overcoming tiredness sufficiently to give the kids adequate attention?
What seems to have happened is that prices and cost of living has been edged up by employers so that actually families are no better off in real terms with two incomes, and maybe worse off, than with the husband’s income alone, in the 1950s and 1960s. Meanwhile, both parents are working harder, competition for jobs has increased, and job security itself is disappearing, partly because companies have a bigger pool of people to choose from.
While parents become more fraught and exhausted, and divorce pops up everywhere, the children seem unhappy. Depression is now a major problem. One could go on about the general impression of unhappiness, but what I want to know is whether the outcome is what the most vocal feminists expected, or are they keeping mum, aghast at what they have wrought. I enjoyed being greeted by my relaxed mother when I was at my first school. My grandchildren, I’m glad to say, are likewise greeted by their mother when they get home from school.
There are two important solutions to this. The first is a more flexible maternity and paternity leave system, one which allows fathers to take more time off if they choose. This would allow more women to pursue their careers, having the option to get their husbands to look after the children. It would require both a radical overhaul in our welfare system and a change in our culture and attitudes to gender. But the initial cost would be worth it in the long term. In the Nordic countries where such a system already exists, children are much happier than in the UK.
The second solution is to increase the number of people working from home. The British government has already given employees the right to ask for flexible working. But this doesn’t go far enough. Employers need to utilise the internet to allow more people to work from home, which would reduce travel costs and the amount of office space needed.
On a more personal note, my mum works from home, and I’m very glad she does. Her job is reasonably well paid, and I really appreciated the fact that she was home when I got home from school.
Answering your question would require a daunting survey but would be well worth the effort. Absent that, though, we could begin by posing your query to the fathers who must have observed the situation.
What might the husbands reply to: “[I]s there any consensus about the effect on children, in terms of discipline, manners and behaviour, in having mothers working full time, probably doing the shopping, cooking and housework, and still overcoming tiredness sufficiently to give the kids adequate attention?” I wonder how much of a class-based difference this is.