The spotlight effect describes how we exaggerate the amount of attention is fixed upon us in any gathering of people. A study showed that, for instance, a person entering a room wearing an embarrassing T-shirt imagines everyone is looking at him. The people carrying out the research assumed, before they did it, that half the people in the room would immediately notice the rude T- shirt. The actual number turned out to be a quarter.
The fact is that most people are engrossed in their own thoughts and affairs, and barely notice people around them. Which puts us all firmly in our places. We are all less important on this small, obscure planet, than we think. Epicurus would advocate a dose of reality for us all. It keeps our feet on the ground.
One advantage of living to a ripe age is that we don’t have to worry what a gathering of people will think of us because they won’t even notice our wise presence. Still, I’m not yet willing to wear my rude t-shirt to Cafe M.