For concerned Americans: it is happening everywhere. Below are statistics about Britain:
72% of us feel people have got ruder over the last decade (OnePoll/BBC News online). And also less principled: only 50% of us now maintain it’s never justified to have an extra-marital affair. Back in 2000, 70% felt that way. Likewise only 20% now consider that it’s never justified to keep money you’ve picked up in the street, whereas 40% did back then. And while 55% of the over-65s say that one should never lie on a job application form, only 33% of under-25s say the same (University of Essex/Independent). Nor does the younger generation set much store by marriage. Only 46% of British girls aged between seven and 21 think marriage is “the best” kind of relationship (though 56% of boys do); and only 32% of girls think married couples make better parents (Girlguiding UK/Daily Telegraph).
What do you expect? Youngsters are brought up believing that everything is relative, and that “right” and “wrong” don’t hold as concepts any longer. That menace, Doctor Spock, held that you should not discipline your children but let them “enjoy” their childhood without lectures and with minimal effort ( such as writing “thank you” letters).
Since so few are drilling their children on how to behave, socializing them in other words, I spy an opportunity for supporters of Epicurus – stand up for the old values of courtesy and respect for others, and re- introducing the old ideas of scrupulous honesty about money and possessions and the concept of thinking about others. Big agenda!
One might start by showing children how to relate to others – ask them questions about themselves, show an interest, and don’t talk incessantly about yourself!
“That menace Dr. Spock”. How many of his critics have in fact read his book? Every now and then I hear him blamed for the bad behaviour of the children who were supposed to have been brought up by him.
I had my first two babies in the far North East of India, – the province of Assam. This was a lonely and anxious time. When other young mothers back in England had their own mothers or midwives to help and advise, I only had Dr. Spock’s book. The was my constant mentor and advisor. There was a section for every, and I mean every, problem or question I had. His tone was encouraging and his advice was practical and compassionate.
As for not disciplining your child, he never said that. He suggested that instead of smacking or shouting, using firm but loving guidance, and sometimes distraction was a better way of helping them grow and develop. Yes, he wanted the children to enjoy their childhood but did not ever suggest that manners were not important.
My children have grown up to be self disciplined, well mannered responsible adults.
I suggest that rather than blaming Dr. Spock, it was the major cultural change in the 1960s with the emphasis on liberal freedom of expression, together with the later “Me first” hegemony which has caused people to be less than considerate of others.