A Swedish psychiatrist turned author has caused controversy by claiming that his country’s liberal parenting practices are doing its children more harm than good. David Eberhard argues that parents in Sweden – which became the first country to ban smacking in 1979 – have effectively ceded control to their children. “They decide what is to be watched on TV, what’s for dinner, where to go on holiday.” Children grow up expecting everything to be centred on them, he says, which inevitably leads to disappointment in later life. Part of the problem is the country’s generous family policies. For instance, subsidised childcare makes it very easy for parents to work – so they feel they should. But many feel guilty that they’re not seeing more of their offspring, and spoil them as a result. “I believe that damages the child much more than sending them to pre-school,” says Eberhard. (“How the Children Took Power”, by David Eberhard).

The other part of the problem is that many children are distracted, not disciplined. They are not made to help around the house, write birthday cards to family members, reply to emails, or sometimes even say “thank you”. “They are only young once” is the mantra. The idea that fathers should be “best friends” with their children is a big mistake! Doesn’t work.

What does work is to set the rules stick with them and, without anger, exert discipline at every infraction. Children like to know the boundaries.

Inthe days of Epicurus children were seen but not heard. Today too many parents bow to their every whim. They will live to regret it. The good news? Not all parents do this, thank goodness, and their kids are the better for it and will respect their parents the more.