To the White House:

Mr. President,

Over the last week or two the nation has been more divided than I have seen it in my lifetime. While I am honored to have been chosen by you for a lifetime seat on the Supreme Court, and to have had the heartening support of the Republican members of the Senate, the fact is that the issue has become about me, my past and my suitability for the post. While I stoutly maintain my innocence of the charges made against me, I love this country much more than I love power and prominence. My overwhelming wish is to bring our country together, not to divide it, and certainly not to serve on the Supreme Court with a shadow over my reputation.

I am therefore writing to withdraw my name from contention for the post and indicate my wish to return to serve the country on the DC Court of Appeals.

Judge Brett Kavanaugh

(Thinks: Sounds weak. Mmmmh. Oh, to hell with Epicurus, goddam moderation, and the country, let’s go for it!)