In America we are pestered continually, sometimes two or three times a day, by companies who want to know “how they did”. I refer to opinion surveys, which proliferate everywhere. When I lived in England I used to slightly envy those who were asked their opinion about anything. Being extaordinarily opinionated myself it was irritating when friends and neigbours were asked what they thought and I was ignored. Be careful what you wish for! Now I wish they would leave me alone.

What is all this about? Well,it’s a total management cop-out. Indeed, one shouldn’t even use the word “management”. Interface with the customer has now been delegated to young people who do their nest to please you, with little training and knowledge about the company and its products. Ask them to be put through to their supervisor and they don’t know who he or she is or what to do about your request. There is no one you can talk to. The “management” sits behind an iron curtain in splendour, unapproachable by mere customers, although, the case of big public companies, one can Google the top management if you have a complaint, and write to the CEO or the President of Sales (the job title inflates as the person concerned gets more remote from the customer – have you noticed that?)

The only way a company can find out how it is viewed by the customer base, it seems, is by opinion surveys. No one thinks of sitting with the order clerks and judging their performance personally; they get an opinion survey to do it. Half the time the survey asks you how you were treated by the youngster on the phone, not what you think of the company and its products. Poor kids! They are judged but their well-paid bosses are not, and should be. The surveys never ask, “Do you think thisis a well-run company?”

When I ran a business all complaints, however minor, came over my desk and I spoke to the customer personally. I never hid behind the (excellent) ladies in the order or accounts departments. We thus had a loyal set of customers. I blame the Business Schools for the way companies behave nowadays – they have taught executives to be little lords, too grand to deal with the hoi polloi. It’s a disgrace. Oh, well. They’ll all be working for Chinese companies in due course, that is, if they have jobs at all.

I have no doubt the Epicurus, were he alive today, would resist the idea of corporations asking their customers to take up valuable time telling the what they think of their junior staff. He would make the point that the rest of us are fighting for just a little time to ourselves for peace, contentment and relief from advertisements and computer problems. Leave us alone, he would declare.