A reader has sent in the following text of a letter from a large bank:

“Dear Ms. Smith,

Age limit for travel insurance

We would like to remind you that the bank’s Travel Insurance Plan provides cover for customers up to the age of 70.  As you are now aged 70  or over, we wish to confirm that you are no longer covered  by our travel policy.

We’re here to help (sic). 

If you have any questions or wish to discuss the alternatives available to you, please contact us and a member of the team will be happy to help”.

This bank apparently stresses that it is “there to help” whether they are terminating travel insurance, increasing the mortgage rate, calling in a loan or taking forty minutes of bureaucratic paperwork just to arrange a savings account.  What they are very quick and helpful about is laundering money from drug dealers in Mexico.   

The first person to guess the name of the bank gets a prize from the Epicurus blog.