Customer service technology is coming to American airports as part of an effort by federal agencies to make it easier for people to give the government anonymous feedback.

There are four round buttons with emoticons that represent different satisfaction levels, interpreted as happy, kind of happy, not happy, really unhappy. The survey kiosk will ask people a simple question, such as, “Were you satisfied with your service?” Users can then press one of the buttons to submit their responses.  The kiosks are already at 27 passport and 14 Social Security offices. This is part of a year-long pilot program that is supposed to let federal agencies quickly address customer service complaints, writes the Post:

A staff member of the GSA Office of Customer experience said,”This is the first time we’ve had a real-time effort to measure customer service.  We want to see if there’s something agencies will react to if it’s real-time data.” (adapted from the NPR website, Copyright 2015 NPR.)

This doesn’t make sense.  What do you learn from “data” that tells you whether travellers are “happy, kind of happy, not happy, really unhappy”? What I would like to know, were I in charge, is “Why are they unhappy and how do we improve?” What always strikes me at American airports is how GRIM the staff is. I was warned years ago never ever to make a joke in front of a customs officer, but the ordinary security staff that frisk you are nearly as bad.  The wretched emoticons can’t tell the bosses what is wrong, only that it is wrong.  What are they thinking, or is this just a prelude to hiring expensive consultants to find out?  Epicureans don’t hire consultants.  They ask the customer intelligent questions and then make decisions.