“Parents wonder why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain” John Locke.

John Locke was a philosopher, a distinguished member of my old college. I used to sit opposite his portrait in hall every morning at breakfast, but never dreamt I would being quoting him about child-rearing in 2014.

Someone recently commented that in the old days parents cared for their children when young, and children attended to their parents when elderly. Now the situation has changed. The parents care for their children when young and are increasingly back caring for them in middle age.

With both adults working, are young people being trained for ordinary life? Are they asked to help round the house, make their beds, dry the dishes? They are wizards with electronic toys, but are they trained to say “please” and “thank you”, to cook the simplest things or generally to look after themselves? Many now live at home (for reasons that are not necessarily their fault), but are they lifting a finger to help around the house, even though mother might still be working outside the house? Feed the dog? Mum’s job!

This is bad for them. Children need direction and discipline. I did National Service and learned to do things like wash my own clothes, darn socks and sew on buttons. Modern parents don’t have the energy to instruct their kids how to be domesticated or, more important, how to give back and care.

Thus, when parents eventually need help in old age, where will their children be? All the more reason to form Epicurean groups that are caring and supportive. The members might be semi-infirm, but at least everyone can complain about their aches and pains together.