3.3 million. That is the population of Uruguay. And yet England, with a population of 60 million and able to cosset and train players to international standards, cannot beat Uruguay at soccer! Pathetic. England invented the game, dammit!

Epicurus might have advised the English soccer fat-cats to pay the players 500 pounds retainer each year, and a million pounds every time they win an international game. That would keep them out of the fancy clubs and fleshpots and concentrate their minds. It’s all about incentives. The players are too comfortable by far.

The problem about the above idea is that many aspiring England soccer players would move abroad. So? There is always someone prepared to gamble that he hits the jackpot.