The following is the suggested notice to be posted at the entrances of businesses owned by by fundamentalist American Christians, such as wedding cake makers, who like to choose their customers – and their bible texts:

“Dear Valued Patrons.
Owing to my sincerely held religious beliefs, we will no longer be doing business with the following persons, nor permit them in our establishment:

1. Divorcees. Matthew 19:9: “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery.”

2. Anyone who has ever read their horoscope or called a psychic hotline. Leviticus 20:6: “As for the person who turns to mediums and to spiritists, to play the harlot after them, I will also set My face against that person and will cut him off from among his people.”

3. Anyone with a tattoo. Leviticus 19:28 “You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the Lord.”

4. Anyone born illegitimately. Also, anyone who, back to ten generations, is descended from someone born illegitimately. If you can not PROVE, using appropriate church sources, that ten generations of your family were born in wedlock, I will have to err on the side of caution and not serve you. Deuteronomy 23:2 “No one of illegitimate birth shall enter the assembly of the LORD; none of his descendants, even to the tenth generation, shall enter the assembly of the LORD.”

5. Anyone who makes a practice of praying aloud, or in public. Matthew 6:5-6 “When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.”

6. Any woman with braided hair or gold jewelry. Just to be on the safe side, NO jewelry at all. 1 Timothy 2:9 “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.”

7. Please don’t bring your kids in if they have a bowl haircut. Leviticus 19:27 reads “You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard.”

I refer you to Matthew 5:17-19, where Our Savior himself says: “…Not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law (of the Prophets and the Old Testament) until all is accomplished. Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven”

Again, I am sorry for the inconvenience. It’s nothing personal, “love the sinner but hate the sin,” and all, but I simply can’t serve anyone who would blatantly disregard God’s sacred law in such a fashion”. (Published first in Daily Cos)

Were Epicurus alive today he would be disappointed to note that mankind is still cherry- picking the bits of the law it feels inclined to pick. If Jesus could dine with prostitutes and tax collectors, why cannot fundamentalists take the money of gays and put it in the bank. It is as good as anyone else’s money, and once on the bank statement is indistinguishable from other money.