Can you honestly count as a friend someone you only see twice a year?
5 Comments
I am British, but live in the United States, visiting the UK in the summer. It has proved very difficult to really keep up with friends, and in some cases, family. Email is fine, but it can’t take the place of being together, having a laugh, hearing the gossip, and so on. Yes, you can catch up on the general news, but the nitty-gritty of their daily lives eludes you. The relationship begins to feel superficial after a while. Uhappy feeling. All too many people mis-use the word "friend" when they mean "acquaintance". Life has speeded up exponentially, faster than humans can adapt, and it is harder to invest the necessary time in building and maintaining friendships. Epicurus would be gnashing his teeth.
Just say, for the sake of argument, that your mother became seriously ill, realized that she could no longer live in her own home, did not have you available to her, and was unable to help herself. Would she be able to phone her friends and ask them to, say, find a residential or nursing home for her or help her in the very many ways she would need help ? Real friends would do this. Maybe in your mother’s case they would, but I would not like to bet a large sum of money on it. (Of course , I don’t know your mother or her circumstances. I am just making a general point about friendship).
Within their resources, quite possibly. And my parents have done similar things for their distant friends in need. Of course, there’s been contact over the years, via phone and mail.
I am British, but live in the United States, visiting the UK in the summer. It has proved very difficult to really keep up with friends, and in some cases, family. Email is fine, but it can’t take the place of being together, having a laugh, hearing the gossip, and so on. Yes, you can catch up on the general news, but the nitty-gritty of their daily lives eludes you. The relationship begins to feel superficial after a while. Uhappy feeling. All too many people mis-use the word "friend" when they mean "acquaintance". Life has speeded up exponentially, faster than humans can adapt, and it is harder to invest the necessary time in building and maintaining friendships. Epicurus would be gnashing his teeth.
My mother counts as close friends people she hasn’t seen in years. I’ve got one myself.
Just say, for the sake of argument, that your mother became seriously ill, realized that she could no longer live in her own home, did not have you available to her, and was unable to help herself. Would she be able to phone her friends and ask them to, say, find a residential or nursing home for her or help her in the very many ways she would need help ? Real friends would do this. Maybe in your mother’s case they would, but I would not like to bet a large sum of money on it. (Of course , I don’t know your mother or her circumstances. I am just making a general point about friendship).
Within their resources, quite possibly. And my parents have done similar things for their distant friends in need. Of course, there’s been contact over the years, via phone and mail.
And I’ve got my own friends I haven’t seen face to face in years, but would go to an effort for.