Epicurus was convinced that mental pleasures surpass physical pleasures, largely because the mind has the advantage of being able to contemplate the pleasures of the past and anticipate pleasures of the future.
He doesn’t mention – but probably would – that the mind also has the disadvantage of popping up and reminding you of mis-steps and errors of judgement, unkindnesses and regrettable remarks you have made in the heat of the moment. Just as children seem only to remember the accidents and stupidities of their parents when they (the children) were young, so the mind will “re-mind” you throughout life of events and decisions you regret. It is sometimes called conscience. Most people have one. Some cruel or selfish acts will be forgotten (?), but true peace of mind is often hard to achieve.
My problem with Epicurus in this regard is that he is too selfless, he seems to regard physical and vain pleasures as bad. But worst of all, he regards sexual pleasure as bad, something which I strongly disagree with. Do you agree with Epicurus, that sexual pleasure ought to be avoided? Or do you think it can be a force for good, provided people are sensible and mature in how they approach it? I know you have come out against pornography in the past- pornography being a potentially very selfish thing. But I don’t regard sexual pleasure itself as innately selfish.
I agree with you. I think one of the problems we face is that Epicurus is easily taken at face value, and other, more nuanced teachings are ignored. Let’s bear in mind what he said (so often) about moderation. Many things are perfectly acceptable as long as one isn’t extreme about them. There’s a woman in our gym who is there every morning when I get there and seems to be there all morning, doing the most extreme exercises. It seems to be a drug to her, and in the end an unhealthy one. The same principle can be applied to sexual pleasure. There are people who are addicted to it who don’t think about the consequences of seducing a woman, and I personally think that it is people like them that Epicurus had in mind. Sex lovingly experienced is beautiful, it is a great pleasure, fulfills a deep need for closeness and affection and is a great bond between couples. It can also be unloving, mechanical, selfish and meaningless. Context matters.
By the way, speaking of context, in the days of Epicurus, heterosexual marriage was regarded as being chiefly for procreation. Love was something else.