A propos my comments on Judge Kavanagh and how a gentleman could have replied to the sexual allegations, I fear drop-dead insensitivity seems to have spread from small, powerful groups of badly brought-up human beings to other parts of the population.

Yesterday, I received a phone call asking me to spend 15 minutes on a hospital survey. I have just undergone a major piece of surgery, am continuously exhausted, still in pain, rely on my wife for mostly everything, and have had less than 12 hours sleep in the past week. Would I take a survey on the hospital experience?

NO!

Now had the survey-taker started off, “I gather you have had a major operation at X Hospital. I’m so sorry. I hope the operation has been a success, you were well treated and are starting to feel a bit better. I wonder if you are up to helping us with a survey that might make the hospital experience better for everyone? If not, I understand”. Had the woman started off in this vein I would have cooperated. But I told her, ”This is not your personal fault, but it is too early, I have no perspective on the experience, am not in good shape, and I consider the timing premature, if not insensitive. No, thank you.”

What has this to do with Epicureanisnm? EMPATHY! plus sensitivity and an understanding of how to handle people tactfully, not bludgeon them and get their backs up. This no longer seems to be understood in some quarters, which is why we have to fight back against the people who are 110% invested in themselves alone, and their objectives, and have little time for working out how real human beings feel and how to win them over.