B.A’s in dog grooming

Studies in the United States have shown that the main reason for going to college or university is to make more money. It’s not for an education. Few are quite sure what an “education” is any more. Jobs and money are what matter.

Problems: there are few jobs for graduates once they finish their practical courses in soft drink marketing and video game design.

So the Epicurus blog is happy to announce the sponsorship and launch of a breakthrough that will allow thousands to take a college course, flunk out the first year, and still find a well paid job: DOG GROOMING. The course syllabus will cover the following subjects:

– does pondwater regurgitation affect your carpets?
– dog waste collection strategies
– dog combs – metal or plastic?
– dog restraint in public places
– removal of molted dog hair in client’s favorite chair.
– why do dogs bark?
– shampoo and dog hygiene
– specialized hair curling techniques in dog beauty parlors.

Tests, approved by the Federal Department of Education, will be held weekly. Grades above E will represent a pass. Students reaching this standard will qualify for a BA(Canine). Cost excluding State sales tax $1,500. Application via Twitter.

One Comment

  1. College administrators, students, dogs — a troika. Two of the three deserve our love and support. The third has sold its soul to propping up destructive business model forced onto education. A money-based bottom line must glisten, all else is sacrificed to that, including — real education.

    I will never, ever again minimize the healing power of our canine cousins (or cousins thrice-removed or whatever the evolutionary bushes reveal them to be.) How about this idea as a possible solution? re-train the educational bureaucrats to be dog-groomers where they might do some good.

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