“To see ourselves as others see us is a most salutary gift. Hardly less important is the capacity to see others as they see themselves”. (Aldous Huxley, quoted in The Times)
Yes, those who repress free thought in China, try to force their extreme religious ideas on others, support guns for everyone (and so on, ad infinitum), all these people genuinely believe they are right, that they fulfill a vital public service, or even believe that they are carrying out the will of God. How one combats this has always been a conundrum. Regrettably, everything starts young and in the schoolroom. What we should be advocating to youngsters is the humanist, gentle, decent ideas of Epicurus and others who believe in freedom, not license; consideration, not bullying; sharing, not selfishness; enjoyment of life, not hunger and stress; sufficiency, not excess. Were you taught this when young or shown it by example, or is it common sense? I would like to think you can teach good behaviour and citizenship, and set a good example.
You cannot teach good behaviour in the same way as you can teach how to solve maths problems or what happened in WW2. It is not something you memorise, but something you copy because you see it around you. If children are treated well and are forgiven when they make a mistake, they are far more likely to treat others the same way.
As for teaching children how to think, its very important not to indoctrinate them, but to expose them to a wide variety of ideas from a young age. Regrettably, this wasn’t my experience- I was about taught Evangelical Protestantism until age 11. But what happens when you are young does not necessarily determine how you will be when you are older, as I think my life demonstrates.
On a more controversial note, its equally important to teach your children views you find objectionable, or even bigoted. If you are a political liberal, teach then about conservatism and nationalism. If you are a pacifist, teach them the merits of imperialism. No idea, not even racial supremacism and fascism, should be off the table. The problem we have at university is that there are a lot of people who only have friends that agree with them. As a result, they are intolorant towards people who differ from then. Regrettably, this is more common amongst left wing students than their conservative peers.
Good observations. Thank you. I would , however, point out that getting kids to do basic things, like thank people for presents, is a pretty unrelenting task. Such simple matters of politeness have to be pursued until they come naturally.