The September 2014 edition of Wired carried an article headed: “What’s the best messaging technique to use when I’m angry at my spouse? Text, email, phone call, Snapchat, Facebook?”

It goes on, in part, to quote Marshall McLuhan: “One of the effects of speedup of information movement…is that the moment of impact and the moment of response are the same. There’s no gap, no time-lag any more. You don’t have any nice, comfortable period in which to think about it, to reflect before responding. When we feel compelled to communicate quickly, we all just end up vomiting raw emotion at each other”.

The writer of the article concludes from the above that you should tell your spouse you are mad at her via a technology that allows for, even encourages, that kind of reflective pause before responding. He plumps for email – “It’s our clearest equivalent to old-fashioned letters”.

May I, as an Epicurean, suggest an even better way of communicating with her? You actually arrange to be in the same room as her. You put your arm around her, give her a little kiss, and ask, “Could I talk to you? I’m a bit upset”. Then, very calmly and in an affectionate and restrained voice, you tell her you love her, and explain why you are annoyed or hurt.

You know what? If she can’t deal with that then you shouldn’t be married. If my spouse sent me an email saying she was mad at me I would conclude that I had married the wrong woman. Email is for cowards or for people whose marriage is already over. (Was the Wired article for real, or was it written tongue in cheek? The latter, I hope).