To some, friends are people who follow them on Facebook. But are these people “friending” them because they are genuinely interested in them and their lives, or are they “friend collectors”? It is a wise person who is realistic and can tell the difference.

“A friend in need is a friend indeed” is an old, and true, saying. Epicurus thought a friend was not necessarily someone you saw or talked to every day, but was someone you knew would be there for you when you needed them, the assurance of their good will, come rain, come shine.

I am struck by the number of people I meet who admit that they haven’t kept up with most of the people they were at school with. One would have thought that this formative experience would breed many more lifelong friendships, but in reality people grow up and grow apart. Not all, but many. One doesn’t choose one’s schoolmates, and you are lucky if you can retain your childhood friendships throughout your adult life. What determines friendship is chemistry and common interests, and the latter change.

For those who want to make more friends, here is a tip: don’t chatter on about yourself; ask questions, show an interest – it is flattering. Apparently, many people think that if the person they are speaking to wants to tell them something about themselves they should speak up. Othetwise it is quite alright to keep talking incessantly about yourself. It us not. It is rude, and no way to make friends.