It is early on a Sunday morning  I am on holiday in an idyllic spot with palm trees and white sand and just the sound of the wind and waves, when the next door neighbor comes out of his cottage, not ten yards away, and proceeds to have a business conversation on his phone at the top of his voice, literally shouting. He is oblivious to the inappropriateness of his actions.  It goes on for long enough to be exasperating.

The night before the occupant of the cottage on the other side returned home at 2 a.m and likewise talked at the top of her voice on the phone, finally stopping at 3 a.m.  You could hear every word, so piercing was her voice.  Why can’t she stay in New York, I thought, where everyone is braying on the streets at maximum volume?

As Tim Kreider wrote in the New York Times of November 12th, ” it seems significant that young people don’t want things to be quiet”. There is noise everywhere you go, whether it is on the streets in restaurants, or in trains.  Aaron James , a philosopher, suggests that people don’t recognise the moral reality of those around them ……people with this personality type are oblivious to others and possess a sense of special entitlement, which allows them to ride roughshod over the feelings of others.  My personal view is that it arises from lousy parenting. Doctor Spock is partly to blame.

We need new values of consideration and thoughtfulness for others, an end to self-importance and self-indulgence, and the assumption that you, the speaker, can do anything you want to anyone at any time.  The moral teachings of Christianity do not seem to get through to the 75 per cent of Americans who are supposed to go to church regularly. The church has long been tainted with establishmentarianism.  Maybe it is time for Epicureanism to have a go, that is, if its tenets were given enough exposure to be effective.

Epicureanism, with its concentration on moderation, friendship, meaningful conversation and interest in others – all this should be the future.  But how to get the message across?