Friendship

Many men rely on their womenfolk to make and retain friends for them.  How many women do you know who complain that they have to make all the social arrangements?  In the event that they are divorced or separated for whatever reason, men can be lonely indeed.  

Is this laziness, or a function of being over-involved in work, or are women just better at the social things of life?

4 Comments

  1. Is there a fourth reaso to toss in the mix? Not so much laziness but just adhering to an old social custom harking back to the men-at-the-office days? Doesn’t it seem that among the younger generation there’s a more egalitarian sharing of tending to friendships and to the social calendar?

    Too, the issue seems connected to the larger question of maintaining friendships between men and women, period. I saw on a blog recently (www.reddit.com) a piece written by a young man giving directions on how to maintain platonic friendships with women.

    There’s an interesting polling question:”are women just better at the social things of life?”

  2. Is there a fourth ingredient in the mix? Not so much laziness as adhering to an old social custom harking back to the men-at-the-office days? Doesn’t it seem that among the younger generation there’s a more egalitarian sharing of tending to friendships and to the social calendar?

    Too, the issue also seems connected to the larger question of maintaining friendships between men and women, period. I saw on a blog recently (www.reddit.com) a piece written by a young man giving directions on how to maintain platonic friendships with women.

    There’s an interesting polling question:”are women just better at the social things of life?”

  3. There is a fifth indredient too. Research has found several definite differences between male and female brains – though of course we are all on a continuum between very masculine brain to very feminine brain ( nothing to do with sexual orientation…. thats a differenct matter.) The Male brain is ‘systems’ based , pragmatic, more mathematical and low on empathy. The female brian is high on empathy, social intelligence, verbal dexterity, nurturing – along with being practical. I repeat we are on a continuum where these things are measured, so there are men who are very empathic and women who are very pragmatic. This would make sense from an evolutionary point of view, where successful hunters (usually men) could find their way home again after a few days chasing a bison, while not getting too emtionally or verbally involved with eachother or sorry for the animals they killed! Woman reared the children which needed verbal and empathic skills. It was important they felt part of the group or they could be ostracised whichgmeant they would porobably perish.

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